From the depth of my soul
by Sambu
Summary: Complete! Mac is giving Harm an hard time and it seemes he has finally had enough. Can Mac change his mind before it is too late?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is a short story that popped up in my head while reading some of Deanar's stories about Harm's musical side and listening to music from Jim Croce, I could just imagine Harm singing some of those lyrics while playing his guitar. Hope you like it, let me know.

There will be three chapters, chapter two will be posted tomorrow and chapter three the day after.

A/N2: I didn't forget my other story I just didn't like the chapter I had written and decided to rewrite as an epilogue and then go on to an other story.

I own nothing just having some fun. The lyrics of the songs I used are from the album Time in a bottle by Jim Croce.

_**From the depth of my soul**_

Harm was sitting at home nursing a beer while playing some random tunes on his guitar. Today had been a bad day, Mac was on one of her foul moods again and he didn't seem to be able to do anything right by her. Finally he had enough and sneaked home early he hoped the admiral wouldn't notice but he didn't really care at the moment he just felt lousy and the four beers he consumed already on an empty stomach didn't help any.

He was thinking of any song that fitted the mood he was in, one more fitting then the other. But his problems weren't really about what had happened today and on more occasions but the way Mac was treating him for the last couple of weeks.

_Guess that it was bound to happen  
Was just a matter of time  
But now I've come to my decision  
And it's a-one of the painful kind  
'Cause now it seems that you wanted a martyr  
Just a regular guy wouldn't do  
But baby I can't hang upon no lover's cross for you_

He realized that he indeed was ready for a final decision regarding his relationship or lack thereof with Mac.

_Yes, I really got to hand it to you  
'Cause girl you really tried  
But for ev'ry time that we spent laughin'  
There were two times that I cried  
And you were tryin' to make me your martyr  
And that's the one thing I just couldn't do  
'Cause baby, I can't hang upon no lover's cross for you_

He was so absorbed in his own world that he didn't notice the tentative knock on his door.

_'Cause tables are meant for turnin'  
And people are bound to change  
And bridges are meant for burnin'  
When the people and mem'ries they join aren't the same_

_So I'll hope that you can find  
Another who can take what I could not  
He'll have to be a super guy  
Or maybe a super god  
'Cause I never was much of a martyr before  
And I ain't 'bout to start nothin' new  
And baby, I can't hang upon no lover's cross for you__  
_

While playing and singing the song many things became clear to Harm and he became surer in the decisions he had reached.

_'Cause tables are meant for turnin'  
And people are bound to change  
And bridges are meant for burnin'  
When the people and mem'ries they join aren't the same_

_So I'll hope that you can find  
Another who can take what I could not  
He'll have to be a super guy  
Or maybe a super god  
'Cause I never was much of a martyr before  
And I ain't 'bout to start nothin' new  
And baby, I can't hang upon no lover's cross for you_

Having found the perfect song for his problems and its causing him to resolve his issues left Harm slightly drained and the apartment filled with silence after the strings of the guitar slowly drowned out. That is when Harm suddenly felt her presence, he looked toward the door but it was closed, when he walked toward it and opened it he found a shocked Sarah MacKenzie on the other side. Not wanting another argument and being slightly drunk and drained he lashed out at her. This seemed to bring her out of her stupor and without a word she stepped into his apartment and made her way to the sofa leaving a dazed and irritated Harm at the door.

When Harm came out of the daze he was in he closed the door and went back to the sofa and waited for Mac to start talking. At first Mac didn't say anything just observed him and then confessed that she heard his last song. When Harm looked at her with that irritated but slightly surprised looked she added by asking if he was talking about her in that song. Harm wanted to get it over with decided on the truth and told her that it was exactly what he tought about their relationship and he didn't want to fight anymore and to let herself out. With that he left her sitting there and went to his bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Here is the second chapter of my songfic. I will post the final chapter tomorrow.

Enjoy!

Chapter two:

When Mac was sure Harm wasn't going to come back she decided to leave. She didn't want to antagonize him any further until she had found some time to deal with this new information. Harm heard her leave from his bedroom, he was relieved she didn't come in but a small part of him had hoped she would. Thinking she gave up just confirmed his newfound insight.

The next day at the office Harm was of course late again, a little later then usually because he hadn't been able to get a restful sleep. He hadn't had dinner and trying to make it to his appointment on time hadn't had breakfast either, he hoped to catch something in the break room before his appointment arrived but the admiral had other plans. What the admiral had to say barely registered and leaving him more irritated then at the beginning he hurried to his office to see his appointment had arrived already. Being in court for the rest of the morning he was al to happy to go to the cafeteria to eat since he hadn't had anything in close to twenty-four hours. After lunch he finally had time to catch up on some paperwork when he saw a paper sticking out. Looking at it he saw it were lyrics from the same singer as the song Mac overheard last night.

_Snowy night and Christmas lights  
Icy window panes  
Make me wish that we could be  
Together again  
And the winty winter avenues  
Just don't seem the same  
And the Christmas carols sound like blues  
But the choir is not to blame_

_But it doesn't have to be that way  
What we had should never have ended  
And I'll be dropping by today  
We could easily get it together tonight  
It's only right_

_Crowded stores, the corner Santa claus  
Tinseled afternoons  
And the sidewalk bands that play their songs  
Slightly out of tune  
On the windy wintry avenues  
There walks a lonely man  
And if I told you who he is  
I think you'd understand_

_But it doesn't have to be that way  
What we had should never have ended  
And I'll be dropping by today  
We could easily get it together tonight  
It's only right_

He didn't have much time to dwell on what the meaning of this song was to him since the admiral had wanted a report finished today and he needed to get to it before he would have to be back in court. When Harm came back from court Mac had already left and Harm had still a lot of work to do since the admiral wanted things finished today. When he finally got home en was having a late dinner he mulled over what happened last night and the note/lyrics Mac left on his desk. She had obviously researched the song he had been singing but had she chosen this song for a definite purpose? It was close to Christmas and their wasn't any one else in their lives at the moment so it was kind of fitting but somehow he felt there was a deeper meaning to it. Not really sure what to do about it he decided to go home and see what tomorrow would bring not wanting to get his hopes up.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Here is the final chapter of this little story.

Enjoy!

Chapter three:

When he again couldn't sleep he decided he just needed to know what was happening before he made any decisions that might well harm his career and leave him with nothing but a broken heart. He got dressed grasped his guitar and made his way to Georgetown. It was already past midnight when he pulled up outside Mac's apartment building but he just needed to know and so made his way upstairs. When there was no answer he let himself in picked up his guitar and started playing a song before beginning the lyrics that would let out the depth of his heart and soul.

_Well, I know it's kinda late.  
I hope I didn't wake you.  
But what I gotta say can't wait,  
I know you'd understand._

_Every time I tried to tell you,  
The words just came out wrong,  
So I'll have to say I __love you__ in a song._

_Yeah, I know it's kinda strange.  
Every time I'm near you,  
I just run out of things to say.  
I know you'd understand._

_Every time I try to tell you,  
The words just came out wrong,  
So I'll have to say I __love you__ in a song._

_Every time the time is right,  
All the words just came out wrong,  
So I'll have to say I love you in a song_

_Yeah I know it's kinda late.  
Hope I didn't wake you,  
But there's something I just gotta say.  
Know you'd understand._

_Every time I try to tell you,  
The words just came out wrong  
So I'll have to say I love you in a song_

Mac awoke to the sound of a guitar, at first she didn't know were it came from but she soon was on alert there was someone in her living room. A burglar would never play a guitar but still she approached the door with caution. What she found stunned her for a moment but then she listened to the lyrics and tears sprang to her eyes. If singing was what made him express his feelings then she could life with it. When the song was finished Harm just stood there unsure of himself until Mac approached him and kissed him, the kiss became passionate quite soon and ended with Mac saying she loved him too. Both knowing the should talk before going any further but passion overuled reasson.

The next day at the office was a bit awkward but in the weekend they worked everything out and Harm asked Mac to marry him which she accepted.


End file.
